:: Closing Time ::

:: Sunday, September 15, 2002 ::

Hey Bets - I don't know if you read this, or still read this, but I figure somebody can point you here if they need to. I just wanted to say a few things

1) I've personally said literally half the shit you've said over a couple of blogs you wrote while I was away this weekend. And I completely and utterly understand.

BUT

2) I don't know you that well - but I do know a couple of things about you. The first is that you're a runner - I don't fucking understand how that works, since I'm so very not a runner it's not even funny, but don't you dare let a week, a month, or however long of downer time even make you think about dropping that team. Just because the only other people you knew with your competitive spirit and drive on the team graduated, that leaves you in charge. And you're in a slump - you can break out of it though, and you will. Because you're a runner. Quick story - Drew, in a position of leadership but pretty unarguably still behind DeSantis, was in a slump just about all swim season. He hated it. Certain people seemed generally dissapointed in him. But he gritted his teeth and he beat it, and that's just what you're going to do. I just hope it doesn't take all season for you.

Second, and I think more importantly, is that you have Chris' respect and admiration - and I KNOW how hard that is to get (you do too damnit) because I know just how hard he has to work to even respect himself. So I think I've got a pretty accurate benchmark from which to say competitively you're better than you're letting yourself believe, and generally (socially?) you're leaps and bounds ahead of certain people who may be left in the dust - whether it feels like you're the one lagging behind, or not. Think of it this way - I don't know if you guys run distance on a track, but if you're half a lap ahead of the pack in a mile or two it's hard for an observer to know whether you're lagging badly behind or leading the crowd. You've got to look carefully, and you've got to listen to people who can look from a third party - specifically Chris, and maybe I guess even a little bit people like me. People like me because even though and -especially- because I don't know you very well, and I still have a positive opinion and a general respect for you. Which means at least to my eyes there's no negativity, no stigma, none of the things you seem to be worried about. Most of the time people's flaws are the first thing to surface, and yet on only the surface all I see are your strengths. And you know what's underneath, and so do your friends, the people you trust - whether or not they're still in wellesley - and you know damn well that you're a good person, a worthy person, a competitor. You know the good that lies beneath, and I'm telling you the good I see above - so do not, do not, DO NOT let yourself crumble. you're better than that.

P.S. I never even made it to states - in anything, not even in music. music - my passion, my goal - I COULD have made it to states, damnit. I know that, but I made a couple of decisions I regret at this point and have to just deal with. But you've been and you're going back - winning states is NOT overrated. If anything else, do it for those of us who never made it there at all. Go out there and beat the odds, beat the competition, and take it home. Because if you do that then no matter how you finally place, we know that anybody who does manage to beat you had to fucking earn it. Cause somehow, I don't think once you get back into the right mindset you're gonna roll over for anybody - I think you're just going to roll right over them.
:: Peter 4:53 AM [+] ::
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