:: Closing Time ::

:: Tuesday, October 08, 2002 ::

Sue Sotir is the single reason I currently have any athletic confidence in myself.

Let's be honest - even the guys who were supportive of me joining the team this season (Chris, Drew, Jack, Schram, etc) all knew I wasn't going to be competitive - barring some sort of crazy miracle of missed talent, I was basically going to be swimming for myself. They were still supportive, which I appreciated, but when the season started they had their own competition to handle. Everyone has to handle their own business first.

But Sue's business was our businesses. And what I never got from Sue was the cast aside that I got from the football coaches - where goddamnit, I -could- have been competitive. Where I was getting to be decent by the end of freshman year, no thanks to them, but had learned to hate the team because they and the other guys didn't give two shits about people. Sue could conceivably had spent all her time working with her champions - with Chris, with Drew (what if he'd broken out of his slump earlier? Our already great season could have been even better), with Swanson, with Andy - they could have won a few more, placed a bit better at states. And she could have spent her time with the secondary guys, with Jack, with Fillo, with Legget, with Schram, with all the other guys who made up infinitely valuble depth on the team, what if she'd spent a little more time with them - they could all have made a couple of more points, swam a hair or two faster. And it wouldn't have cost her team at all to ignore me.

I was the one who was expendable, because I offered nothing competitively - Sergel will be back next year, even Gesinger might. Sergel will be competitive next year, although we swam at the same level this year. Sergel will be an important part of the team on the scoreboard, where basically his importance this year was as a friend. I can't possibly stress that importance enough - every guy was crucial to the atmosphere, and Sergel... he just brought something to the team nobody else could replicate. But next year (shit, it's this year isn't it) he'll bring that back, and he'll bring more. He'll bring a year of training, and he'll put up three, four, five times as many points as he did. Maybe more.

I was expendable though, and Sue never let that cross her mind - she gave me every bit of help I needed, every bit of advice. She helped every member of the team and cared about each one of us as a swimmer, and as a person. Sue worked with me because it was good for me. Not for the team, but for me. And at the end of the day, she talked to everyone - not about swimming, but about school, about life, about problems. About anything on our minds. That's why I can honestly call her my coach, and that's where I get the confidence I have today. Sue helped me bring out a part of myself I didn't possibly believe existed.

Thanks, Sue.

p.s. Chris, if you see Sue or have her email address, I almost feel like she should read that.
:: Peter 6:15 PM [+] ::
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