:: Closing Time ::

:: Sunday, January 12, 2003 ::

This is probably going to be one of those blogs that gets few or no responses, because at this point I don't think I'm gonna say much worth responding to. Ok, having thought about it a second more and deciding to change my approach, maybe I will.

You know those angels around you? Those people who, while not a part of your life and with very little chance to impact it, manage to be just these shining lights of near perfection in the darkness of reality. Those people who remind you both of all the fantastic people there are to get to know who you don't already, and of how few of the awesome people you'll ever get to really know. For me, Lindsay Shamberger has been that angel since she moved here. And in dreams, she somehow completely randomly came back into my life last night.

Lemme just be a little clearer because I think I'm going to have to to get away with this without sounding creepier than usual. Lindsay is just one of those wholey good people - she's got the sweetheart thing down to an art, she's pretty, she's warm to everyone. Lindsay's one of those people who really no matter what the situation is is probably going to smile at you, and it makes you feel better. And despite some efforts, I barely know her. In my dreams last night she's done what she always did for me - something had gone wrong and I was getting down, and suddenly she showed up and was just happy, was just... her, and it made me feel better. A hug and her presence, and everything was wonderful. This was -totally- random, as I haven't seen her all break (not even since Thanksgiving, and that was only for 5 minutes), and I don't even think anyone's mentioned her around me. So I can't say why it came up. Anyhow.

I expect everyone has at least one of those people who they see. The problem is that at GW, I really don't think I know one. I know one person who comes close, a neighbor of mine, but she actually happens to be a good friend of ours and now the girlfriend of one of my brothers. And as cool as she is, somehow it's kind of different to know her.

But at GW, there's nobody who brightens my day - nobody who can make me smile in darkness, nobody who practically makes me smile at a thought. The hardest part of it is that the angel isn't moving on in life with me.... they never do, I guess. I'd probably be surprised if I ever saw her again, and that's the part that really makes me sad.

There are too few really good people in the world to lose the few you find.

I wonder what I'll think in the next 12 hours as I travel back to school. Some of it I'm sure will be excitement, at getting back to constant action. Some more will be dissapointment, because I feel very much unfilfilled by this vacation. There were good times with good friends, and for that I'm thankfull without doubt. But I guess I had been hoping to connect with more of my past, see more people, and just see more smiles.

I've got good memories of break though. I think I'll take them with me every time I go sledding, play pool, or break out the gamecube for some football. And now... I embark on the hardest segment of my time away from home. It's January, and I won't see my friends for at the soonest two and a half months. I went a month and a half each time first semester, and the reality is I don't know how many people I'm gonna see over spring break - a lot of people, a lot of important people, aren't going to be here. Hell. Off the top of my head, it looks like most of them won't be. Not seeing my closest friends until May.... holy shit, that sucks.

It's things like this that make me need angels in my life. Why is everyone so far away?

p.s. last thing.

I'm going to be travelling for around 7 hours, when you realize that with heightened security (due to these recent crashes) I have to be at the airport by 5, my flight is at 7:20 till 8:50, it's about 25 minutes to get my luggage and catch the bus to the train, then I have to wait for a train or an illegal cabby who wants to split a ride to DC, that's about 45-60 minutes, then I've got a cab ride back to my dorm, another 10 or so. And that's assuming basically nothing goes wrong. What does this mean? Well, I've got a national cell phone, and a new 781 number, so I would really really really really love it if somebody called. Anybody, from anywhere, please. I'm going to be going nuts.

(sevyn-ate-won) nyne-sicks-too nyne-sicks-sevyn-fyve

Call. To talk about anything, if you're curious about anything, or whoever you are. Call because you could make me smile.
:: Peter 11:08 AM [+] ::
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