:: Closing Time ::

:: Monday, August 19, 2002 ::

I had a lot of fun today, but was sorta upset because I didn't think much, and didn't come up with much blogworthy. So when I'd showered and sat down at my computer, I read other people's blogs.

Nothing of huge interest until I finally got to John Curran . Ahh, John Curran.... without a doubt one of the single most fascinating people I've met to date, and as a sophomore. Going to be a junior, yes, but this year was clearly a breakout year for him both conciously and developmentally. He's changed a lot, I think almost all for the better. We didn't get along too well freshman year - as well, I've changed a whole lot this year. Between the two it's a much better situation now. Which brings me to how I got to a blogworthy point.... his comment.

Part of the beauty of some of these blog comments is that you know the situation... cause you were there. John's comment on our group's viewing of the Perseids I thought was particularly interesting, and I figure I can quote it since it's already on the internet and hey, I'm linking to it:

"It felt, though, that at times, we became distracted from the point of lying there…instead of watching the sky, our conversation drifted into trivial matters: “Do you use the enter key or return key?”. Or conversations about blogs. Doesn`t anyone sense the irony of conversations about blogging under such an awesome setting? Stop talking about writing about living and start living!"

To start.... I disagree. Because as much as nature is dazzling and magnificent and incredible, I place contact with people before contact with nature. I honestly would hate to give up either, but the way I see it is this - alone, on my own, in nature, I'd go insane. Living with people but constantly in buildings, or on a space station or something.... I would manage just fine. Just -my- personal view, I'm sure for many people it's a harder distinction or even quite the opposite. But I enjoy meaningless, amusing conversation because it lets us primarily get away from our differences. Any time Joanna and I try to have some sort of seemingly "meaningful" conversation we end up disagreeing, clashing, and coming to the conclusion that the other is likely in some way flawed. But just talking about random stuff - how you write your blogs, how you send your IMs - no conflict whatsoever. People recognize that such little things are so trivial that a matter of opinion there means nothing, but what we often fail to realize (and I'm not nearly as guilty of this as a lot of people accuse me of.... that's one thing that greatly hurts me) is that greater differences of opinion are still -just- differences of opinion. When I make a statement that I disagree with somebody, often times people accuse me of trying to start fights, or arguments. I've literally heard a couple of people who I generally otherwise find to be quite intelligent just yelp out something as incredibly fucking dumb as "Jesus Peter, why are you always causing problems!" Well bitch, maybe I just don't have the same opinions as you do, and yours are no fucking better than mine despite what your ego may lead you to believe (btw that's totally off topic, and I do NOT meant to imply that I think anything less of John's opinion because I just realized that's one specific difference of opinion I HAVE talked about - I do recognize his point, and John is actually so rarely guilty of this kind of things because he disagrees with people if not as often then plausibly MORE often than I do).

John a few posts later said that he is no longer blogging, because he sees his blog as some kind of performance art, and consequently spends too much time now (as he said) writing about living instead of living. Here's my personal suggestion to anyone about blogging - relax. Be honest, off the cuff, and have a conversation with the world. Exact quote from my AIM convo with him, the multiple IM names removed for clarity's sake:

"I usually start with something.... but then, have a conversation with the world. I don't use it write political essays, I just use it to -talk-. It's like - ever have something you just needed to tell somebody, but you don't know who would care or appreciate it for sure? Or more importantly you know one specific person would so you tell him or her, but in doing so you don't realize that another friend (or even a not-friend) also would care and me interested? That's the blog magic.... I can just say these things to the world." As long as I'm confident about the truth in what I'm saying, and truly believe the words I write when I make any kind of strong statement.... then that's who I am, and that's my opinion, take it or leave it.

That said... having encouraged him to keep blogging (a great decision in my life) I realized when I was about to be a junior it woulda been a huge mistake. The thing is.... i fucked up junior year, and to some extent senior year, because I was a WORTHLESS sophomore. I took a light course load, had a lot of fun, did very little work, got reasonably good grades (two A's, two B's, no problems). And had effectively a -drop-, not a growth, in socioeducational maturity. I was less prepared for junior year than a freshman would be and I fucked up. The difference is John did just the opposite. I think I was more prepared than him as a freshman, but I'm very certain that he did much better than I did as a sophomore, and he's still going up. So I don't know if this kind of a blog would be good for him now - it wouldn't have been for me then, but he's not me.

I was going to write and say a lot more... except I just talked to Alex for about an hour about his dorm life and all the things he's experiencing. More important to me right now than blogging is staying in immediate touch with my friends. I'm sure he appreciates it, and I really feel like we're not that separated if I know what's going on in his life. We appreciate each others' stories and ideas.

Remember that folks - I really do love knowing what's going on in your life and how you feel, because it means I still know you.
:: Peter 12:04 AM [+] ::
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